Marriage as the Holy God Intended

20th Sunday after Pentecost, 10/11/15
Genesis 2:18-24


Marriage as the Holy God Intended
I. One man and one woman
II. A lifelong commitment
III. One flesh


It used to be referred to as the Holy Estate of Matrimony, but you don’t hear that phrase so much anymore. What happened?

I’m sure the reform of divorce law some decades ago had something to do with it. No fault divorces became common. The courts no longer care why a couple is filing for a divorce. It’s simply a legal procedure to try and undo a marriage with its countless entanglements.

That allows couples to enter a marriage with the thinking, “Well, if it doesn’t work out, I can always file for a divorce.” Such a marriage gets off on the wrong foot because the very foundation of what marriage is—commitment—is missing. It’s like building a house without a foundation. Sooner or later it begins to crumble and eventually it falls.

Certainly another factor in the demise of the Holy Estate of Matrimony is the “sexual revolution” that began in the 1960s and continues to this day. Casual sex is seen as a rite of passage, and pre-marital sex is expected. And the Holy Estate of Matrimony erodes even further.

It’s to the point where some couples feel that marriage is completely unnecessary. It’s a burden to their freedom. It’s just a piece of paper and a waste of time. What’s more, remaining unmarried spares you a costly wedding reception.

And now this. As of June 26 of this year, same sex marriage is legal in all 50 states. But did that really surprise you? Not if you had been paying attention. The handwriting was on the wall. One by one various states had already made it legal. One by one our nation’s leaders were expressing their approval of it. Same sex marriage is here and, I’m afraid to say, it’s here to stay.

And so it seems to me that we need to recall what our God says about the Holy Estate of Matrimony. We need to go back to the beginning and see what our God says. We have that blessed opportunity before us this morning in these words from Genesis 2 which record the divine institution of marriage. This is marriage as the holy God intended. May our God use these words to deepen our understanding of his will regarding marriage so that we are better equipped to defend and promote it in our world, in our families, to our children.

Part I.

After any disaster occurs and the dust has settled, it’s common for an individual to make his way through the details in chronological order, noting how the events related to each other in order to grasp as much as possible how he got where he is. How did this happen?

How did we arrive where we are today regarding marriage? I mentioned a few societal issues a couple minutes ago. But those are really symptoms of a much deeper problem, or, better, a soul-destroying crisis. That crisis involves the holy word of the holy God. God’s word is being attacked, especially on two fronts.

Are you familiar with secular humanism? According to one web site, “secular humanism is a naturalistic philosophy, a cosmic outlook rooted in science, and a consequentialist ethical system.” In that description you heard nothing about God or the supernatural. That’s because secular humanism denies both. That means there’s no right or wrong. Things are simply judged by their results. Secular humanism dominates the campuses of our country. For our purposes today, it doesn’t care what the Bible states about marriage.

The other attack is in the Church itself. Decades ago the seeds of higher criticism were sown and today we’re reaping the evil harvest. In other words, more and more Christians are denying that the Bible is the inspired and inerrant word of God. That goes for the Bible’s definition of marriage too. So even Christians feel free to redefine marriage as they please.

So, where does that leave us? Where we’ve always been…defending the truth of God’s holy word. In doing so, we stand with the likes of Martin Luther, and the apostles Peter and Paul. God’s people have always had to defend God’s truth.

And we do so from the safety of the ark of the Church. No matter how vicious the attacks, the Church shall never perish. Jesus wins and we win with him. That includes God’s truths about marriage.

That includes this simple truth before us this morning, “Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.” Marriage as the holy God defines it is this: one man and one woman. Period.

It won’t do us any good to shake our angry fingers at our godless world for what it’s done to marriage and family in our society. That won’t change a thing. It’s bad enough when the family and marriage as God defines them are so viciously and widely attacked by our modern world. And it’s just as bad, perhaps even worse, when our own sinful attitudes and actions have done the same. When we tolerate our marriages instead of working to make them the blessings God intends, when our selfishness rears its ugly head in our words and actions, when our sinful words betray the bitterness of our hearts to the person we have vowed to love and honor, then we bring shame to our marriage and sorrow into our lives. But that’s what sin always does. And the only solution for it is Christ, the holy Bridegroom who, by his life and death, has forgiven us and made us his holy bride, the Church. His love for us empowers us to live as his redeemed people in the holy estate of matrimony, imperfect and sinful as we are. Love for him and his word empowers us to regard marriage as the holy God intends: one man and one woman.

Part II.

Do you believe in love at first sight? Maybe you do, but I’m not sure that’s possible. How can you love someone you don’t even know? Love flows from a heart that trusts the other person. How can you trust someone you don’t even know?

Well, Adam could and did. But he lived in a vastly different world than we do. Remember, this event in Genesis 2 was in a perfect world, before the fall into sin. Adam knew he could trust Eve even though he didn’t know her because there was nothing hidden, sinful, or wrong with her nor with him. She was literally a perfect 10 in every way, spiritually being the most important way.

What’s more, she was God’s gift to him and he to her from a perfect God who loved his creatures perfectly. The main reason he created her was that “for Adam, no suitable helper was found.” There was no one for him to enjoy God’s perfect creation with. But now here she was. And they instantly committed to one another. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife.” Those words profess the commitment that is at the very heart of marriage.

Marriage as the holy God intends is a lifelong commitment.

Husbands, wives, do you struggle at times with your commitment to your spouse? It happens, especially when your spouse isn’t being the spouse they promised to be or that God intended them to be. But let’s state the obvious: none of us are. So, when you’re standing next to your spouse during the confession of sins, recall your less than perfect record as a spouse. Confess how you’ve failed. Put aside the bitterness and the accusations. And then receive the healing forgiveness of Jesus. Love for him fosters love for your spouse. Love for Jesus empowers you to love your spouse. And then your lifelong commitment to each other grows stronger and deeper.

Part III.

Perhaps you noticed that I didn’t finish quoting the final words of our text a minute ago. That’s because I think they need our undivided attention for a minute or two. Let’s do that now.

“And they will become one flesh.” The holy God intends marriage to be that unity. It’s as if a man and a woman are now glued together. You no longer have two pieces, but one. Whether your spouse is present with you or not, you’re still glued together and everything you say and do apart from your spouse will affect your spouse.

God’s intent was that Adam and Eve would now share life in his perfect world together. Every day was filled with joy as they shared the blessings God intended for them.

Their sexual relations were the most important aspect of that unity. In those relations they experienced intimately how their spouse made them feel whole and complete. It was something they shared only with each other. It also enabled them to experience the blessing of children. They were designed by God for each other.

Marriage as the holy God intended is one flesh.

There was nothing casual about this. This was not a case of friends with benefits. Their one flesh unity was a result of their lifelong commitment to each other. Our world has it all wrong. But again, it won’t do any good to shake an angry finger at the world. Doing so might even be a little self-righteous. If your thoughts and desires have not violated God intentions for a one flesh marriage, then you’re not being honest. May the only human flesh that was completely pure cover us with his forgiveness which he earned for us on Calvary’s cross and may he strengthen us to reflect sexual purity in our thoughts, our words, our lives.

That’s what the holy God intended for marriage. May he bless our efforts to uphold and honor the Holy Estate of Matrimony! Amen.