What Should You Do When Someone Sins?

16th Sunday after Pentecost, 9/24/17
Matthew 18:15-20


What Should You Do When Someone Sins?
I. Lovingly confront him.
II. Completely forgive him.


If I heard it once as a child, I heard it a thousand times, especially from my teachers in the early grades of elementary school. I heard them repeatedly tell me and I heard them tell my classmates. And this is what I heard them say: “Just worry about yourself.”

It’s been a long time since I’ve spent any time in an elementary classroom, but I have to think that exasperated elementary teachers are still issuing the same advice to their young students. And who would blame them? Young children are known for being overly concerned about what other children are doing. And when they see them doing something that might be dangerous, harmful, or against the stated rules, they tend to go running to the authority figure to warn them of the dangerous or unruly behavior that has just occurred. Is the term “tattle-tale” still used? I imagine so.

But it doesn’t take too many years before the tattle-tale learns to mind their own business. In fact, students have a way of learning that lesson too well. Within a few years students will insist on keeping their mouths shut about what other students are doing and saying. Doing so not only avoids repercussions from the perpetrators, it keeps their own reputation untainted. No one likes a snitch.

And those life lessons remain with us. We tend to mind our own business, even when we probably should get involved. It happens even when others need our help. We’ve learned long ago not to get involved. We want to avoid trouble. We have our own problems. We’re too busy.

And that propensity often carries over into our spiritual lives as well. We become aware of situations that need to be addressed, but we decide to mind our own business. And while there might be situations among us as a group of Christians in which that’s a God-pleasing course of action, it’s never a God-pleasing reaction when sin is involved. In this morning’s text from Matthew 18, Jesus gives us his instruction on how to deal with sinful situations.

Before we go any further, let’s make sure we’re all clear on something. It’s true that Jesus told us not to judge others (Mt. 5:1). But don’t use that injunction as a reason to remain uninvolved. When Jesus told us not to judge others, he meant that we are not to presume to know what’s in someone’s heart. We can’t see that; only God can.

In Matthew 18 he’s dealing with sin—sin that is obvious and might be known to others. So, what should you do about it when you see or hear another person sin? What should you do when someone sins? Let’s keep that question before us as we review these familiar words of our Lord.

Part I.

It’s occurred to me that our culture is in the midst of a verbal epidemic. What do I mean? It seems that people will say whatever they want and whatever they think at the moment. It doesn’t matter if they don’t have the facts on their side; they insist on saying it for all to hear anyway. In fact, it doesn’t even have to be the truth. The truth is irrelevant. They’re looking for a certain reaction from people and they will say what they want to get it. In other words, what they are saying is all about them and not about anyone else who might be affected.

Would you be interested in hearing what Jesus says about what we say? I hope you are. He says through Paul, “Be patient, bearing with one another in love. Speak the truth in love” (Eph. 4:2, 15). In other words, we are supposed to be concerned about our brothers and sisters in Christ. In a God-pleasing way, we are supposed to be concerned about them. And when we address what they’re facing, we need to speak the truth and we need to do so in Christian love. Speaking out of impatience or sinful pride is never God-pleasing. And that’s critically important when one of our fellow Christians is guilty of a sin. When that’s the case, we have a responsibility.

Jesus states, “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you.” Today’s culture would label that as “hating-on” your neighbor. Jesus would say it’s just the opposite. We need to show that person Christian love in a loving way. It’s a matter just between the two of you. In love, keep it that way. That person has committed a sin and needs to repent of it. You’re calling on him to do so. Keep doing so until you reach an impasse.

In fact, go to great lengths in showing love for that person. Jesus says, “But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church.” Jesus might think that’s showing a great deal of love, but what do others think? What do we think? Someone has committed a sin which is known to others. Wouldn’t the loving thing be to mind our own business? Instead, Jesus instructs us to keep approaching that person in an attempt to deal with that sin. In fact, if necessary, “tell it to the church.” Why would he stipulate such a public course of action regarding an individual’s sin?

Because of what’s at stake here. Any sin has the potential to rob a person of their faith in Jesus. Faith-robbing sin occurs when the person realizes what they have done is a sin but refuses to repent of it, refuses to turn completely away from that sin and, instead, insists on continuing in it. How could we say that we love such a person but say nothing about the spiritual danger they are in?

So what should you do when someone sins? Lovingly confront him.

It’s been stated that Christian congregations that no longer confront sin eventually lose the gospel, and it’s true. How so? If we aren’t willing to call sin a sin any longer, we no longer need a Savior from sin.

But confronting sin on a loving way isn’t easy. In fact, I can’t think of a Christian responsibility that is more difficult. And one of the reasons for it is that we have a relationship with that person. We know them. They may be a fellow church member or family member. Confronting them with their sin even in a loving way has serious risks. What if they never speak to us again? But here’s a better question to ask: What if they die in unbelief? Refusal to repent is unbelief. Jesus states it right here in his word. Are you willing to risk their eternal future? It might be difficult to admit, but there are times we have. Regarding their sin, we’ve looked the other way. We’ve said nothing when we should have said something. We’ve failed to show Christian love to someone caught in a sin. If that’s your confession, then know and believe your own forgiveness in Christ, who died for you. Join your fellow Christians here in believing that saving truth. One of the reasons we gather together as God’s people is to encourage each other, even to do the difficult thing of confronting a sinner with his sin. But when it’s done in Christian love, it’s done out of love for Christ and to his glory. God help us do it!

Part II.

It’s been said that if you don’t have a goal in mind, you’ll never reach it. When you undertake something important, you want to be sure you know what your ultimate goal is.

I think you’d agree that dealing with the immortal souls of sinners is a highly important undertaking. As we do that as a congregation, what’s our goal? Well, it’s not so that we can say to ourselves and others that we have a “clean” church. We don’t do it so that we can tell others that we don’t allow sin. We don’t want to give the impression that our church is ultimately a haven for saints.

Rather, we want them to know that it’s a hospital for sinners, sinners like you and me. And we come here to be treated by the Great Physician of our souls, Jesus Christ. You received his soul-treatment early in today’s worship. Do you recall it? We confessed that we have missed the mark of perfection—that we’ve sinned against him in thought, word and deed. And then we heard his gracious words of forgiveness.

That’s our goal with each sinner. We want him to join us in confessing our sins, every one of which deserves eternal punishment. And then, by the power of the Holy Spirit who works saving faith in Jesus, we want that person to believe that their sins are completely forgiven. Jesus has paid for them all. Our sins have been “loosed” or set free from us. When we speak with a fellow sinner and they repent of their sin, we are to assure them of God’s forgiveness in Christ. Jesus declared, “I tell you the truth, whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.”

What should you do when someone sins? If he repents, completely forgive him.

We can bury our spiritual heads in the ground, ignore the spiritual reality in which we live, and remain spiritually delusional. In other words, we can ignore sin in our lives and in the lives of others around us.

Or, we can face the truth. We’re spiritually hopeless on our own. We’re lost and condemned creatures. We’ve all offended the holy God with our sins. We all need help with our sinful situation and we need to help others. But dealing with sin is always messy. It can be heartbreaking. It’s difficult. To be honest, our sins cost our Savior his life. But our loving Lord Jesus wants us to recognize and confess our sins and to believe that through his life and death they are forgiven. And now he wants to use us as his people to lead other sinners to do the same—to lead them to repent so that we can assure them of their forgiveness in Christ. If you think about it, there’s no greater work, no greater responsibility, no greater way of serving other people than that. Take to heart your forgiveness in Christ! And may the power of his forgiveness in your life lead you to confront other sinners in a loving way and, when they repent, to assure them that their sins are completely forgiven in Christ! Amen.